Nissan Design Europe (along with MG the only OEM design studio in London) came up with the design tautology of combining a beach buggy with a four wheeled motorbike. Relaxing in a swimming pool full of money, NMUK wanted to do the same thing again for the next class down – Euro B (US subcompact). Not for nothing was it nicknamed the Cash Cow by the UK motoring media. Gambling that customers would pay a little extra for a chunkier, roomier and higher riding Golf-sized car the rather inoffensive looking Qashqai practically invented the crossover. CEO in a suitcase Carlos Ghosn had instituted a brutal cost cutting regime across the whole of Nissan globally and told NMUK to get its shit together or else. The Qashqai had been a final throw of the dice for Nissan Motor UK (NMUK) after years of pissing yen down the plug hole. Previewed by the Qazana concept that debuted at the 2009 Geneva motor show, it was the second Nissan designed and engineered entirely in the UK after the Qashqai (closely related to the Rogue/Rogue Sport available in the US). It wasn’t for me, but the original Juke was for a lot of people. Please Sign These Papers Indicating You Did Not Save NMUK I traded it for an 8J Audi TT as soon as my self esteem got back on its feet. A little bit of my soul died every time I drove it. What I actually got was the “how do you do, fellow kids?” meme on wheels. I was hoping for a sense of fun like the MINI. The eco mode was actually worse for gas milage because it throttled the engine so badly you had to nail the bloody thing to make any sort of progress. The low-res graphics could grade you on your mpg achieved in eco mode or display G forces in sport mode, for fucks sake. ![]() Some vapid marketing asshole probably suggested making the interior more X Games by ten percent, consistently and thoroughly. You can see my thinking.Īfter a few weeks I thought the Juke was just trying too hard. The insurance money was burning a hole in my pocket and walking to my managers house every morning at 7:30 to ride into Gaydon with him was getting really fucking old fast, so I needed something black, funky and economical. I had broken up with a woman and written off my beloved R55 Mini Cooper Clubman by stuffing it through a fence, so I wasn’t in a great headspace for making good life decisions. I owned a first generation Juke for a few months at the beginning of 2019. This is the kind of vacuous twat who probably bought the original Nissan Juke.įull disclosure: I was that vacuous twat once, but not for those reasons. Acting like they’re the life and soul of the party when actually they’re being an unbearable tit and the only humane thing to do for all involved would be to strap them into a trebuchet and launch them into the side of a tall building. ![]() They’re making bad jokes, laughing loudly at the stupidest shit. You know when you go to a party, or a bar mitzvah, or the excruciating work social, there’s always one person who is a bit…much.
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